Kay, I've finally made up my mind. It's like after so long uh.
That; I'm locking up my blog. There's too much i feel like saying, yah.
About, You(Especially). And many of my thoughts.
I've been keeping so much of words inside me. Till, I cannot take it any longer.
I just need a quiet place to allow me to scream out everything.
I've Sacrificed Too much over these days. I've been giving myself a hard way to go, when i can even choose to lead a proper life.
"Why did i make myself suffered so much?"
"Does you even worth these sacrificed work i've done?"
In conclusion, I just think that, I've been doing too much. And it's time to stop now as it's no longer worthy anymore.
Tell me, Help me, Teach me; How then will i be able to get over him completely? I'm so tired ): I've tried so much, But nothing seems to change.
You know, i missing every minutes and seconds we used to spend together in th past?
How much i missed them? How much i wanted time to turn back.
But, I know it clearly myself. That'll never ever be possible again. Cause, i've lost you.
And now that you loved someone else. You know how much this hurt brings me?
When that particular someone told me,
Someone: "Joey, frankly I've got something to tell you"
Me: "What Thing?"
Someone: "Teckmeng like someone already. So i think it's time to give up already."
Me: "Hesitate for a moment before replying* Really? Who?"
Someone: "Avriel. So, now that you know. You're gonna give up? Yes?"
Me: "I don't know. I just can't forget him yet."
Somehow, I just felt super,super,super upset after hearing.
Still remembered, You lying to me over that you don't love her. Well, now. I don't think there's a need to hide between us anymore, right. You know that i already know you loved her. No point hiding from me anymore.
Kay, I admit. I was seriously jealous over this matter. And started to dislike her, (just cause of he's th girl that you loved). I don't wanna lose to her ):
Talking about all this, reminds me of how we used to become couples. From Strangers to friends to toast&coffee to darling to toottoot.
I miss exactly everything we've gone thru together. Really.
I've never forget how well you used to treat me in th past. Even though, We've yet to be couple. You've never failed to wait for me after my CCA and see me home after that. You've never failed to sweet talk with me over th messages. Being th silliest of you, really makes me love you more. Not forgetting, how shy you can be even talking to me. Then slowly, i admit. I was really touched by every single bit of things you've done for me. And from there, i develop th love between us. And i promised myself to let th love grew stronger, which i did it today. From there, You've never failed to see me home EVERYDAY(without failed). Never failed to make me smile, brightens up my day. Though, I know before that; I've treated you too badly. (I know it's too late to apologise over it) But now, thinking back; Somehow i regretted.
Even We're going out for movies every saturday without fail. Now that my saturday(s) are getting more boring. And i seriously hated it so much. Very usual, when every saturday comes, it would definately reminds me of you.
Pratically I miss everything):
How we used to celebrate th 17th of every month. How you used to bring me out for lunch/dinner. How you used to give me that gentle kiss of yours. How i used to hug you on every bus trips. How i used to sleep in your arms. How you used to sweet talk with me. How you used to called me. How you used to care for me. How you used to nag at me. How you used to scold me over stuffs. How you used to see me home. How you used to hug me so tightly. How you used to send me long messages. How you used to send me anniversary messages. )':
Mayb, I should be happy that at least you've given me sweet memories. However, they're always th ones which pulls me down when i'm starting to stand up. I can't help it, but teared each time i missed you and th memories.
I'll never forget, th only Valentine's day i spent with my dearest ones. Th roses, th bear, th kisses, th hugs, th movie, th bus trips. I really did enjoyed myself. But sadly, that moment lasted for awhile. Soon, things faded off ):
Remember how we used to go chinatown together for chinese new year's celebration? Together with my family as well. How you used to came over to my house and meet up with my parents. Now that everyone in my family is asking "Where's your boyf?" I really have a bad time answering them. Cause, i lost you somehow in th middle of th road. And that it seems like i can't find you back anymore. Even my mom, says "Teckmeng is a nice guy. You should have regretted for not listening to his words" And i really did regret. I shouldn't have did stuffs he didn't like me to do. But my character was too stubborn): I always refused to listen, and it ended me in this state ):
We've went thru ten months of ups and downs together. We've shared th sweetest love in this ten months. You've left me with most of th great memories of life in this ten months.
This clearly shown, I've never loved someone more than i love you. I swear.
I might have looked strong in appearance, But I'm feeling even weaker inside. And that my heart breaks for more than once.
It breaks each time when i saw you looking out for her. Looking so happy for each time you saw her. I can't help it, it's th fact that my heart felt this jealousy feeling. I didn't want it either.
When can this stop holding me back? How long must i be in this state?
"Joey, I know you're a strong girl. Don't be sad, Be happy"
This always breaks me down.
Darling*, I Miss you. And i really do ):
I didn't want to lose you. But why did you chose to let me go. You know i loved you so much. Toottoot! I wants to celebrate th 17th of every month with you ): I want to go for movie with you! I wants you to see me home again! I want to hug you again! I want you to give me that gentle kiss again! I WANTS YOU TO BE MINE AGAIN.
Was avriel really much better than me(?) D:
If she really does, and you really loved her more than how you used to love me.
Till today, I shall say. "I'll wants you to be happy with whoever you loved. So long that you're happy, That'll be th best gift you've ever gave me"
So, If you really love her. I shall say "Work hard to go after her. You'll always have my support. And you'll really need to treasure her when she's yours."
You know, i took alot of courages to say these to you. (How i wished you were only mine) D:
Darling*, I'll always love you like before.
That; I'm locking up my blog. There's too much i feel like saying, yah.
About, You(Especially). And many of my thoughts.
I've been keeping so much of words inside me. Till, I cannot take it any longer.
I just need a quiet place to allow me to scream out everything.
I've Sacrificed Too much over these days. I've been giving myself a hard way to go, when i can even choose to lead a proper life.
"Why did i make myself suffered so much?"
"Does you even worth these sacrificed work i've done?"
In conclusion, I just think that, I've been doing too much. And it's time to stop now as it's no longer worthy anymore.
Tell me, Help me, Teach me; How then will i be able to get over him completely? I'm so tired ): I've tried so much, But nothing seems to change.
You know, i missing every minutes and seconds we used to spend together in th past?
How much i missed them? How much i wanted time to turn back.
But, I know it clearly myself. That'll never ever be possible again. Cause, i've lost you.
And now that you loved someone else. You know how much this hurt brings me?
When that particular someone told me,
Someone: "Joey, frankly I've got something to tell you"
Me: "What Thing?"
Someone: "Teckmeng like someone already. So i think it's time to give up already."
Me: "Hesitate for a moment before replying* Really? Who?"
Someone: "Avriel. So, now that you know. You're gonna give up? Yes?"
Me: "I don't know. I just can't forget him yet."
Somehow, I just felt super,super,super upset after hearing.
Still remembered, You lying to me over that you don't love her. Well, now. I don't think there's a need to hide between us anymore, right. You know that i already know you loved her. No point hiding from me anymore.
Kay, I admit. I was seriously jealous over this matter. And started to dislike her, (just cause of he's th girl that you loved). I don't wanna lose to her ):
Talking about all this, reminds me of how we used to become couples. From Strangers to friends to toast&coffee to darling to toottoot.
I miss exactly everything we've gone thru together. Really.
I've never forget how well you used to treat me in th past. Even though, We've yet to be couple. You've never failed to wait for me after my CCA and see me home after that. You've never failed to sweet talk with me over th messages. Being th silliest of you, really makes me love you more. Not forgetting, how shy you can be even talking to me. Then slowly, i admit. I was really touched by every single bit of things you've done for me. And from there, i develop th love between us. And i promised myself to let th love grew stronger, which i did it today. From there, You've never failed to see me home EVERYDAY(without failed). Never failed to make me smile, brightens up my day. Though, I know before that; I've treated you too badly. (I know it's too late to apologise over it) But now, thinking back; Somehow i regretted.
Even We're going out for movies every saturday without fail. Now that my saturday(s) are getting more boring. And i seriously hated it so much. Very usual, when every saturday comes, it would definately reminds me of you.
Pratically I miss everything):
How we used to celebrate th 17th of every month. How you used to bring me out for lunch/dinner. How you used to give me that gentle kiss of yours. How i used to hug you on every bus trips. How i used to sleep in your arms. How you used to sweet talk with me. How you used to called me. How you used to care for me. How you used to nag at me. How you used to scold me over stuffs. How you used to see me home. How you used to hug me so tightly. How you used to send me long messages. How you used to send me anniversary messages. )':
Mayb, I should be happy that at least you've given me sweet memories. However, they're always th ones which pulls me down when i'm starting to stand up. I can't help it, but teared each time i missed you and th memories.
I'll never forget, th only Valentine's day i spent with my dearest ones. Th roses, th bear, th kisses, th hugs, th movie, th bus trips. I really did enjoyed myself. But sadly, that moment lasted for awhile. Soon, things faded off ):
Remember how we used to go chinatown together for chinese new year's celebration? Together with my family as well. How you used to came over to my house and meet up with my parents. Now that everyone in my family is asking "Where's your boyf?" I really have a bad time answering them. Cause, i lost you somehow in th middle of th road. And that it seems like i can't find you back anymore. Even my mom, says "Teckmeng is a nice guy. You should have regretted for not listening to his words" And i really did regret. I shouldn't have did stuffs he didn't like me to do. But my character was too stubborn): I always refused to listen, and it ended me in this state ):
We've went thru ten months of ups and downs together. We've shared th sweetest love in this ten months. You've left me with most of th great memories of life in this ten months.
This clearly shown, I've never loved someone more than i love you. I swear.
I might have looked strong in appearance, But I'm feeling even weaker inside. And that my heart breaks for more than once.
It breaks each time when i saw you looking out for her. Looking so happy for each time you saw her. I can't help it, it's th fact that my heart felt this jealousy feeling. I didn't want it either.
When can this stop holding me back? How long must i be in this state?
"Joey, I know you're a strong girl. Don't be sad, Be happy"
This always breaks me down.
Darling*, I Miss you. And i really do ):
I didn't want to lose you. But why did you chose to let me go. You know i loved you so much. Toottoot! I wants to celebrate th 17th of every month with you ): I want to go for movie with you! I wants you to see me home again! I want to hug you again! I want you to give me that gentle kiss again! I WANTS YOU TO BE MINE AGAIN.
Was avriel really much better than me(?) D:
If she really does, and you really loved her more than how you used to love me.
Till today, I shall say. "I'll wants you to be happy with whoever you loved. So long that you're happy, That'll be th best gift you've ever gave me"
So, If you really love her. I shall say "Work hard to go after her. You'll always have my support. And you'll really need to treasure her when she's yours."
You know, i took alot of courages to say these to you. (How i wished you were only mine) D:
Darling*, I'll always love you like before.
Joey don't wanna cry anymore. She wants to be a strong girl!
However, I love to drunk myself :B
This will be real time when i'll have to say Goodbye.
I'm still looking out for you at a further place. Stay happy, my love!
Takecare Kays! ♥
(17September2007 , 15July2008) I've beautiful memories that not everyone have :B
This will be real time when i'll have to say Goodbye.
I'm still looking out for you at a further place. Stay happy, my love!
Takecare Kays! ♥
(17September2007 , 15July2008) I've beautiful memories that not everyone have :B
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